The Ballad of the NBN (sung to the tune of the Beverley Hillbillies)

Crossed wires on NBN locally

Forum –

We have been trying for nearly a month to get NBN to attend.

The problem is obvious and it has been like this since the March storms.

Telstra was advised at the time-in writing.

Let me tell you the story bout the NBN

Which missed an appointment with us again.

The excuses they make are pretty weak:

Like not knowing there was water in the Creek

(Patonga that is, a creek full of water)

So first thing you know another appointment is made

With many details, a good plan was laid.

With Meroo Avenue as the place they ought to be:

So we took a deep breath and waited to see.

They didn’t turn up, or ring us on the phone,

Coz they knew we really wanted to be alone.

We read some more books and made some more pies;

And had a chuckle bout the cancellation lies.

More weeks passed and we tried and we tried,

Telling them again: the internet has died.

Sitting at home the feeling finally took

Them NBN folks, couldn’t raffle a chook.

So the weeks passed and it just wasn’t fair,

Reading books, watching free to air.

But we thought things would improve with appointment 9:

Internet back on: everything fine!

Imagine our surprise then: when.

We had to turn around and make appointment 10!

So now it’s a new day and we don’t know what to do.

They say they will be here just around 2.

We thought the man they’d talk to would be Uncle Jed;

Granny got her shotgun, said she’d go instead;

Jethro was too busy forking up some hay,

So we dressed her up real pretty, and sent Elly May.