I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Jennette McCurdy’s memoir brings the popular phase “don’t put your daughter on the stage Mrs Robinson” into sharp focus.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition.

It was her mother’s dream that her only daughter become a star and McCurdy would do anything to make her mother happy.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, McCurdy recounts in unflinching detail the horror of her upbringing, just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true.

Even as a small child she went along with her mother’s calorie restriction, eating little and weighing herself five times a day.

She endured extensive at-home makeovers; this is a tale of physical abuse, severe eating disorders, emotional manipulation and abuse of power.

McCurdy was showered by her mum until she was 16 and had to share her diaries, email and income with her mother.

Jennette McCurdy’s memoir offers up a tough take on her upbringing and stardom on the iCarly Nickelodeon show.

Forced to follow her mother’s dreams, she is held hostage by the impossible expectations and abusive demands of a mother that controls her fan club, her finances, her social media, and is on a first name basis with the paparazzi.

Meanwhile, she does not seem to notice that her daughter is riddled with shame, self-loathing and anxiety which manifest as raw and painful.

It is a wonder that McCurdy had the ability and hard work needed to bring herself back from the brink; this biography is painfully funny at times.

We have focused on the #metoo movement and that is a great step forward, but the exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed.

Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, when more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame.

Told with refreshing candour and dark humour, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

The decision to use present tense takes away some of the reflection for expressing self-awareness, self-reflection and healing, and the book felt a little like a journaling therapy exercise.

Some questions readers might like to consider:

The story is told through a series of linear vignettes, with time gaps in between. Were you able to fill in the gaps?

Of all the red flags in Jennette’s relationship with her mum, which was the reddest for you?

How might you have responded had you been a family member, fellow stage mum or friend?

Was her anger an avoidance mechanism? Or did it save her?

In interviews, McCurdy frequently deflects questions about hush money offer from Nickelodeon; would you have taken the money?

Other recommendations in the genre include Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, and The Less People Know About Us the Better by Axton Betz-Hamilton.

Julie Chessman