Dying to know if you’ve updated your will

Speakers included social worker Jacinta Hensby and Lyn Parkes from Creightons Funeral Services

The 2024 Olympics are over and we know what that means, don’t we?

Every four years – use the Olympics as a reminder – we should review our will and update it if circumstances have changed.

If you’re over 18, you should have a will. 

What? You don’t want to talk about your will?

So I suppose you don’t want to talk about dying either? 

What about voluntary assisted dying?

Or having an advanced care directive?

Organ donation?

The whole gamut of taboo topics were talked about at the inaugural Dying to Know Day on August 8 at Palmdale Lawn Cemetery and Memorial Park.

And to be honest, it was a fun afternoon.

I was one of a room full of people listening to all the advantages of preparing for and personalising our departure from this world.

We are all going to die, right? It’s just a matter of when.

Every three minutes, a person dies in Australia.

Dying to Know Day was all about busting the myth that dying must be a solitary endeavour and about the community reclaiming dying.

Talking about death is becoming more common. Look at the new series about to start on SBS; the Last Goodbye, with Ray Martin. 

There are also Death Cafes, where people talk about – yes, death.

And Post Legacy Workshops, Grief Workshops. 

And comedy. You’ve heard the one about Beethoven decomposing?

The laws in NSW mean we can have some control over our death if we are not taken out by some tragic accident.

If we know we are dying from a disease and death is expected within six months – or 12 months for some neurodegenerative diseases – we can apply to go through a mandatory 12 steps to organise a voluntary assisted dying (VAD) death.

Three doctors are involved in the assessment process and we can choose to have a doctor inject us or we can take an oral dose of whatever the substance is – it isn’t publicly explained – at a time and place of our choosing.

VAD is not suicide, it costs nothing and we can always change our mind.

Until we’re dead, that is.

VAD is not listed as the cause of death. The disease is. This is for privacy reasons.

We can organise to pre-pay our funeral costs. It might actually mean our Centrelink payments go up slightly because that money has left our bank account and the funeral is not considered an asset.

We can have an advanced care directive that sets out the “ceilings of care”.

It only comes into play when we don’t have the capacity to explain ourselves.

What are your requests for your care at that time when you are palliative?

For example: do you want tubes down your throat; do you want to be resuscitated if your heart stops; antibiotics if you have a chest infection.

Do you want to die at home?

The old saying that it takes a village to raise a child is also applicable at the other end of life.

“It takes a village to help someone to die, as well,” Jacinta Hensby from NSW Health said at the event.

Five speakers addressed the crowd, talking about all aspects of death from wills and estate planning to: powers of attorney and guardianships; aged care financial planning; funeral services; and plans and advanced care directives.

A lot of good information was shared. Did you know for instance that you can organise a legacy contact for your phone?

Do you know the tax implications for beneficiaries of your estate?

Have you heard of Testamentary Trusts?

The event made me realise I need to get a lot of paperwork in order so I don’t leave a legal mess behind when I die or if I’m incapable of making my own decisions.
And I need to share that information with my executor and my chosen legal representatives.

And once I’m dead, there is Probate.

Which brings us back to the last Will and Testament. 

Do you have a will? Get to it: time’s a ticking.

Merilyn Vale